the hard times, the straight-to-your-heart times.

{the bridge on the tennessee river, somewhere in illinois.}

a lot of people have called me "brave" for packing up and moving cross country with no job waiting, or family to come home to, or friends to welcome in.

i touched on it in this post, but i don't think that's what i'd call it. i wouldn't say i was running away, because when i say i was happy in nashville, i was. i was... unsatisfied? unsettled? unclear?

i'm not sure what i expected. maybe that when we parked in town i would feel a sense of relief? a feeling of belonging that i never really felt in the south? a hint that i was on the right path?

there is some of that. for sure. but there's also "i don't understand my job and i will never have a job i am good at again." {ahem, determined on day six.}

and "no one here gets my ability to use a song lyric in all conversations." {bonus if you recognize this post title!}

or "baker has to work holidays and i will die if i have to spend thanksgiving alone." {also, we prob both would literally die if we tried to eat a turkey i cooked.}

we are starting over, at the beginning. we have a small, small apartment and very new jobs. we have no friends {okay, i have one friend - holler anna lisa!}, no routine and seriously no way of knowing if a street we are walking on is pretty much the gallatin of denver.*

{*that last one was a joke. people in east nashville will get that. and p.s. the gallatin of denver is colfax. and we walked it! SO scary!} 

so, yeah. that's the reason for the radio silence. just thought i should keep it real.

i've got just one life. so i'll stand my ground here.*

{*finish that lyric: and i won't back down.}